I want to make sure we’re both being safe, but I’m not sure how to bring it up without killing the mood. How can I discuss this?

Zoya Ali

Zoya Ali (she/her)

Reproductive Health Scientist Instagram

Prioritizing safety and comfort is a super important aspect of every intimate experience, and it’s great that you want to take that first step! Having said that, there are some ways you could address this with your date while also being present with them in the moment.

You could begin by checking in with your date – something as simple as knowing how they are feeling in the here and now is a good starting point. From there, you may initiate an open-ended conversation in a non-judgmental, approachable manner by saying something like, “I really like being with you here, and want to ensure that we’re on the same page about being safe and taking care of ourselves while we’re together. Can we talk about it?

You could also view this moment as an opportunity to get to know each other’s preferences and boundaries safely. Discussing boundaries is healthy and you may initiate that conversation by talking about what you’re okay with, what you’re not okay with, what you might be looking for rn, and what makes you happy. This could be along the lines of, “I was thinking about how it’ll be cool if we get to know what we’re into or what our turn-offs are. I just want to make sure we have the best time together! Are you game?

Please remember that by having this conversation you’re definitely NOT killing the mood. In fact, by putting safety first, you’re creating a space for yourself and your date to be vulnerable and build that intimacy.