When it comes to expressing feelings to a partner about them, it is normal for you to feel nervous or intimidated. Especially if they are someone who’s new to you, someone you’re just getting to know, or someone you may or may not have spent a lot of time with, whether online or in person. It might be important for you to have “the talk” even if it feels a bit awkward. And when you do, one of three things might happen:
- They might reciprocate your feelings, in which case it’s all good. You might want to explore what commitment might mean to each of you.
- They might like you but not be in the exact same place as you, especially when it’s early on. If you’re feeling intense feelings early on, that’s totally okay. However, some people take time to develop deeper feelings for other people and that’s okay too.
So when you communicate this with a partner, you may also signpost and tell them, “Listen, it’s okay if you are not feeling this way. I know that I’m feeling intensely because I really like ______ about you, but also I understand that we’re just getting to know each other.”
Also, sometimes it’s important to step back and be like, “Hey, would it be helpful if I held back on how much I’m expressing my feelings for you? This way you give them the space to ensure they don’t feel overwhelmed or feel like they need to match your pace right away.
- They might not want to take the relationship forward. Rejection can be tough but you put yourself out there and that takes courage! You can choose how you would like to proceed – whether that’s by maintaining the status quo, moving on, or remaining friends.