I’m not feeling confident about my body but I don’t want to scare off my match by oversharing. How can I talk about my feelings without being embarrassed or ashamed?

Karishma Swarup

Karishma Swarup (she/her)

Sexuality Educator Instagram

First things first, you don’t owe anyone any explanations about your choices, your body, or about how you choose to dress. That being said, while it could be challenging to talk about your relationship with your body with someone you met online, it might be important to make them aware of your triggers. While discussing body image issues with a match or potential partner, there are a few approaches you can take.

You needn’t have a face-to-face conversation if you find that intimidating. Texting and even exchanging voice notes can be just as meaningful and helpful. You could even guide your match as to how they can best support you, including letting them know which words or actions are affirming and validating for you.

In case you’re someone who’d like to sit with your match and discuss this in person, that’s valid too! Plan a day when you both have the time and mind space to have this conversation and are able to engage meaningfully on what is quite a sensitive topic for a lot of people. Let them know how they can hold space for you, and what are some things they can do to reassure you.

Lastly, how much you choose to share with a match or potential partner, depends on the context and your comfort. Whether it’s a one-time fling, a situationship, or a potential long-term thing, it is normal to expect understanding, acceptance, and a judgment-free space for the choices that you make regarding your body.