I want to explore and experiment new aspects of intimacy with my partner but I’m not sure how to bring it up. Got advice? 

Swati Jagdish

Swati Jagdish (she/her)

Sexuality Health Educator Instagram

It’s great that you want to switch things up and kudos to your courage and curiosity for wanting to try something new. Here’s how you can go about it:

Begin with a few check-ins with yourself. You can do so by trying to figure out your relationship needs, boundaries, and what might be your idea of a secure relationship. The idea of trying out something new can be exciting, but you should be able to feel safe and comfortable about it as well. That would in turn help you to better communicate your needs with your partner too! This is essentially why open communication is helpful in processing emotions, past preferences, likes, dislikes, and limits.

Create a space for yourself and your partner to discuss your preferences in a shame-free, non-judgmental way. Let them know how you feel about them, and that they’re enough just the way they are. By helping your partner feel secure about you and your relationship, you pave the way for a free-flowing conversation about all the fun things you can do together.

Few things you can say:

I love it when you do _____, do you want to try a different technique _______ I just got to know about?

I feel we both can have a lot of fun if we get ______ for our time together, what do you think?

I found this cool article about experimenting in bed, let’s read it together before bed?

These conversation cues can work well even if you aren’t in a relationship. Please bear in mind that this is an ongoing discussion, and both of you should be able to freely talk about such topics without any hesitation. While it’s understandable that some folks might feel guilty, worried, or afraid of hurting their partner, do know that you’re cultivating a meaningful exchange and prioritizing your mutual intimacy needs – and, there’s nothing wrong with that!